THE LAST SUPPER: SUMMER IS ENDING

Prologue

Tuesday 4 August 2026, the bigger couch of my cosy college apartment

Received information after information. No, not received. Confirmation? Everything that has been talked and danced around coming to fruition. Head in my hands. That bittersweet feeling. This is what it is all about, isn’t it? The continuation. Fleeing. Never stopping. Always growing. Opportunities we never could have imagined when we were just kids in school being confirmed. The swallowing of Gulit and possible Shame to achieve one’s actual desires.

There’s a magpie watching me as I write this. He is telling me to stop speaking in riddles. “Speak plainly,” He says. At least that’s what I think he said. I don’t speak magpie. Despite my Mother always calling me one growing up. Couldn’t leave a house empty-handed back then. Stole a number of toys and fridge magnets to feel the heaviness of something in the palms of my hands. Anyways, back on track.

Two of the dearest people in my world are moving on from this college city into the big, bad, exciting world. We’ve spent this Summer living together in this cosy college apartment, and the realisation that it is suddenly coming to an end is, well, bittersweet.

You cannot comprehend how much my heart swelled with pride and joy when the news hit my ears. Woah. Finally. This is it. This is scary, but oh god, this is it. Then the way my heart sank when I realised the distance and time—those awful, evil things. [Redacted] should still be close by for a bit. At least that is what I am telling my heart. [Redacted 2], on the other hand, will be leaving come Autumn. Picturing us waving her off at the airport. Can’t help but picture her in The Before. Before she ever cut or dyed her hair. Before we were adults, slaving away to the capitalist system. Before she found [Redacted 3]. Before when we were young, stupid teenagers, leaving an unconscious [Redacted 4] asleep under the table while we went to drunkenly play in the closest park. Left [Redacted 4] a note explaining our absence on the corner of a pizza box. Before we ever thought we would be living together. Before we became the people we are today.

Act I: The Preparation

Thursday, 6 August 2026

Woke late. Finally without the worry of work. Threw on makeup for the first time in weeks. Had to look all pretty for my family. Travelling six hours in one day just to spend a few hours with me. I love whenever I get to see my family. Gratitude for my life and how I got here because of my family. Picked up my mother and brother from the train station. Bear hug. Had booked a table at my favourite brunch spot for the three of us. Feast to cure their hunger after the journey. Walking down the streets of my college city, leading the way. Makes me feel all grown up. I know these shortcuts and roads so I can lead the way. To take care of them. A ladybird joined our walk. Resting on my mother’s shoulders. She stayed with us for at least four minutes before becoming overwhelmed with the attention we gave it.

Went to the Brunch Spot. Ordered comically large American-style pancakes for myself and my brother. Sat around the semi-circle table. Gossiping. Catching up. Spilling all the unearthly secrets that have taken place since we last saw each other. It has been too long since we last saw each other in person. Have this constant need to be touching at least one of them, playing with their hands or resting on their shoulder. The reassurance that they are both here in real time. A blessing nowadays. Saw a Fox Teddy and decided he was my long-lost twin. Carried him around the city as my mother laughed at him. Got lots of compliments on him.

Spent far too long at the Brunch Spot. Went for a walk around the city. Brought them to my go-to spots. Brother loved the bookshop I brought him to. Bought his first-ever comic, Spider-Man, of course. Showed them around my nerd shops. Saw a Dale Cooper poster and tried to convince my brother to buy a second-hand game. Failed. Kept leaning on my Mother’s shoulder as I walked them up to the train station. Sat together. Trying to ignore the fact we have to part ways once again. That is always the worst part. Waving the two of them off as they enter the train carriage. My heart sinking as I leave the station. Trying to swallow a sinking feeling creeping up my throat. Immediately texting my Mother that I love her and miss her already. Don’t think I’ll ever get used to that part, saying goodbye.

Act II: The Last Supper

Thursday, 6 August

Spent the next few hours wasting away. Killing time before all The Roomates got home. Slowly, we all filled into the living space one by one. Ranting and raging about our days and work. Stress of it all. Have to get all the stress out before our night of relaxation. Alcohol crept up before I could realise. A bottle in [Redacted 5”s] hand. A can in [Redacted 4”s hand]. I realised that [Redacted 2] and I didn’t have anything to drink. Made a quick stop to the shop underneath our cosy college apartment. Give that shop far too much business out of convenience despite how overpriced it is. Roamed through the aisles. Picking up food for [Redacted 3]. Forgot to get her medicine. Separated in the off-licence. Divide and conquer. Comparing wine bottle prices to save a euro or two. Unfortunately, neither [Redacted 2] nor I can turn our blood into wine. Would be a lot cheaper. Would be a lot more convenient. “This is my blood of convenience” rather than “This is my blood of the covenant”. Tastes a bit bitter. Bittersweet. It all comes back to that.

Got a bit carried away in the off-licence. Bottles of rosé, miniature bottles of wine, Four Loko and something to take shots out of. Stuffed our bags full of drink, chocolate and the essentials for [Redacted 3]. Milk and bread. Bread and wine. A real last supper. Made it back home rather quickly as our stomachs began to eat away at themselves. The Famine runs through our DNA, and we could feel our ancestors’ hunger as we grew sick with hunger. All sat around together. Ordering food on our phones as [Redacted 4] set up Mario Kart. A ritual of ours. This Summer, we have all become possessed by the ghosts of Mario Kart characters. Waluigi. Shy Guy. Lakitu. Red Yoshi. Lemmy. Isabelle. Creatures of habit. The lot of us. Too many of us to all play together. Sat out of the first round as I had a sneaky, funny feeling my food would arrive before theirs. Ordered from different places. The Roommates all settled on Chinese, but I had this sick craving for my favourite traditional chipper in the city after [Redacted 2] mentioned it earlier that day. It is the closest thing I have found to my favourite local chipper back in the hometown. Nowhere nearly as good, but the closest I have found. Mother says the local chipper in the hometown is the best because it is run by all women. I have to agree. Ended up being right as my food arrived first. Sat all cosy on the floor, watching the race on the screen beside me as I overindulged in the takeout.

During the actual Last Supper, Jesus gives a new commandment: to love one another as he has loved them. Love. All I ever feel with The Roommates is love. A fuzzy feeling floating at the back of my head at all times. Over time, you get so used to it that you don’t even notice it. However, at times, such as when The Roommates are in their individual “cute moods” or when the whole room is full of screaming as we fake-fight with each other. Spreads from the back of my head towards the sides. Happened when [Redacted 2] casually told me over food that she had written a reply to my blog. The food quickly lost my interest. Wanted to take a bite out of [Redacted 2]. Maybe even eat her whole. Cannibalism is usually used in literature to refer to greed, the uncivilised and, in more recent years, love. An all-consuming love and codependency. Wanted to eat [Readcted 2]. Not so much out of love, maybe more of a possessiveness. Keep her safe within me. Somewhere no one else can get too. Read her reply to my blog and felt love spread from navel to the nape. Wished she could see herself through my eyes. Rip them out, polish them off and let her see herself for who she truly is, if I could. Hugged her, hoping she could at least feel my love and admiration.

All of us ended up playing Mario Kart. Taking turns. Made up a drinking game to go with the Mario Kart. Each of us had to create our own three-by-three bingo cards. Bingo cards full of our habits and actions during Mario Kart. [Redacte 4] calling [Redacted] a bitch. [Redacted 5] being confused. [Redacted 3] sneaking up and winning last minute. [Redacted 4] getting shouted at for picking Dragon Driftway. Creatures of habit. None of us knew what was on each other’s bingo cards. Whoever got bingo could choose who to do a shot with.

Act III: Aftermath

Friday, 7 August 2026

Sometime within the first hours of the seventh, our numbers dwindled. Slowly but surely. Started with [Redacted 3], bless her, a strong soldier who stayed out with us for the night despite that sickening feeling she can’t seem to shake. Drinking water and electrolytes instead of wine and beer. Beat us in Mario Kart, of course, which I can’t even blame on the alcohol because [Redacted 3] has this talent for last-minute, silently winning it all. [Redacted 2] held [Redacted 3’s hand] before dragging her through our tiny hallway. Bedtime rituals. Some rituals are best left unseen and untouched, behind bedroom doors.

[Redacted] and [Redacted 5] followed shortly after. As [Redacted] seemed to grow more and more tired. Using [Redacted 5’s] stomach as her personal pillow. I wonder if she could hear the Chinese share-box they had hours prior swimming in his stomach. Or the bubbling beer. Or his heartbeat. Or if she was trying to tune us all out. [Redacted 4] and [Redacted 5] spoke of some Batman films I have never watched. Turning my head to listen to both of them as though I was watching a tennis match. [Redacted 4] claims they will get me to watch Batman one day. [Redacted 4] claims they will make me watch a lot. The only things I know for certain regarding Batman are that Robert Pattinson is extremely talented in all he does and there is a character named Jason Todd. A character who is rather upsetting based on how [Redacted 4] has spoken of him in the past.

After all the superhero and film talk, the drink and eight-hour shift had taken over [Redacted] as she called it a night. [Redacted 5] left with her to set up their nightly watch of Gordon Ramsey.

Leaving myself, [Redacted 2], who had re-joined us after putting [Redacted 3] to bed and [Redacted 4]. The three of us. It always comes back to this. There is a certain comfort within the air when I am left with these two. A feeling I can’t quite describe. Warmth? Devotion? Time? Care? I suppose sanctuary and affection are the closest words within the English language to describe how I feel around [Redacted 2] and [Redacted 4].

Being alone with [Redacted 2] and [Redacted 4] feels similar to a reset button. Every evening I can go to them and reset everything for the coming day. As though nothing in my world matters more than seeing the two of them, safe and happy, in the comfort of our home. Truthfully, love doesn’t even begin to describe it. It’s more than a feeling, a primal need even. Something built into us from prehistoric humans, ensuring our loved ones are safe.

The three of us sat around the TV, deciding what to watch to end our night. Ended up on Camp Rock. Somehow. Something easy to watch. Childhood classic. Apparently. I have never seen it. Somehow sang along to at least half of the songs. Wandered which exact scenes Demi Lovato was coked up during. [Redacted 2] and I were trying to fight off sleep as [Redacted 4] was wired with energy after a three-hour nap. Believe I got at least halfway through before giving up and calling it a night. Hugged both of them goodnight before disappearing into my room. Snug as a bug in a rug. Warm from liquor and love.