Fell out of love today.

Fell out of love today.

Not the type of love you experience after a short-haired barista hands you your drink, the warmth of their overworked fingertips brushing against yours, staying with you longer than the warm drink spilling, filling your stomach. Or the type of love you experience watching your destined airport crush leave for their gate, heartbroken, you aren’t heading to the same destination to pursue a holiday romance.

No.

The type of love you don’t even realise you are experiencing until it is already over. Never admitting to falling in love, but every waking hour of the day you spend thinking of them. Every step you take is a step closer to them. You are fully consumed.

Been doing that too much lately. Falling in love. A silent love. Where I spill secrets to them as the sun sets, watching over us. A silent love where my supposed lover never knows I love them. Despite all the letters I write, days spent, holding each other for warmth during the harsh Winter and being unable to separate our hold on the other despite the heat and sweat of Summer. Despite all of this, I am just a friend.

I’m starting to believe God placed me on this Earth to always be somebody’s friend, but never their lover.