extract from a letter I never sent

- and I never shared these thoughts, how often I think of you, how fond I am of you, I don't know what to do. Maybe the grief would make me so mute that I'd never speak again, racked with guilt that I didn't speak the truth of my affection to one of the most important people in my life. I know that loving someone cannot convince them to stay - love alone is never enough.

The whole thing is rather cliché or cringeworthy - something so cliché that when it's said in movies or literature, I roll my eyes and gag because who on earth says things like that in real life? But, this is the first and last time in my life I'll say this to someone. Remember when you asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told you I don't want anything. I have this really horrid habit of lying, which only gets worse as I get older. I believe it's because my mother didn't allow me to lie as a child. I love birthdays. I try my hardest to spoil my loved ones and get excited to celebrate their day. Anyways, I lied. There are a number of things I want for my birthday. There is something I have wanted for so many years now that I've always felt I'm on the verge of losing at any point. I want to make more memories with you. That's all I want. I want you to stay with all of us. Stay with me. That's all I want for this birthday, my last birthday, my next birthday - this is my only wish.

by; Tori Sheehan